Aliens: Mono Pest: The Adaptation
by Choco Scorpion Bat
Summary: Herk Mondo is the best Alien bounty hunter in the known galaxy. He has never failed at his job. But this hive just may bring him to his knees. Will he succeed?
1. Chapter 1

AN: My first adaptation of an Aliens comicbook! Yay me! READ AND REVIEW!

Aliens V/S Mondo-Pest

The Adaptation of The Comic

By

Predy96

Disclaimer: I do not own Aliens, Mondo-Pest, or anything else other than this adaptation.

...

Part Uno

...

The spacecraft orbited the large blue planet like a bug does light. Orbiting the blue sphere was a small orange moon. Down below, a child was running for dear life. He splashed through the marsh, breathing heavily. His shirt was wet. Behind him, a tail rose over the horizon. It was quickly followed by a coal black body. A Xenomorph. The child slipped and fell. The Xeno hissed and was nearly on top of him.

"Nuh...nuh...nuh..." stuttered the blond haired boy.

The Xeno hissed again. It was quickly shadowed by a large object.

"Huh?"

The Alien dove. The boy screamed. The object crushed the Alien, spewing acid blood. It said MONDO~PEST on its hull. The object was a spaceship! Smoke rose from the ground. The hatch opened and a man exited. The Alien hissed in anger.

"Say goodnight, Gracie," the man said, and fired his AX674 machinegun at the Xeno's face. He rested his arm on his ship. "Never turn your back on a bug, kid."

The man's name was Herk Mondo.

"Uh-huh," he responded. His face was coated in dirt.

The huge man spit on the dead, smoking pile of Xeno.

PISSSSSS.

He looked to the distance and saw a colony.

"Is that where you live?" he asked.

The boy nodded.

"Uh-huh."

Herk looked at him.

"Uh-huh. That all you know how to say?"

The boy spoke in a mixed up stutter.

"Uh-hn...N-n-no. I was looking for my Uncle Hank when the um...BUG came. You know...the one you...uh...can you help him? My Uncle Hank I mean? Huh? Can you, Mister? Please?" he said.

Herk looked away.

"Yeah, sure kid," he said.

AT THE COLONY

Herk piloted his huge ship slowly. They were approaching the colony. He pressed a button and spoke into the speaker.

"Hailing Colony Oryza. Mondo Pest requesting landing instructions..."

Instead of an answer, a missile headed straight for them! Herk swerved, but the missile followed. It hit the ship and exploded.

"HOLY CHEESEBALLS!" screamed Herk as they fell from the sky. They smashed into the ground with tremendous force. He helped the boy out and got to work on the fire that erupted.

"STUPID FUCKING YAHOOS!" he shouted. A vehicle was approaching. Two people got out. A man and a woman.

"Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" apologized the man. He was a potbelly, about his mid-fifties, and wore a cowboy hat.

Herk ignored him. He muttered expletives under his breath.

"Just paid the damn thing off!"

The boy spied the girl and ran to her. She was a pretty woman. She hugged him.

"Nate! I thought the Aliens got you! Are you okay?"

Nate nodded.

"Uh-huh. Paige, you shoulda seen it! He squished one of 'em under his ship!" he told her excitedly.

Meanwhile, the man was busy trying to explain the accident.

"We're sorry, man! Our air defense system is automated and still has some glitches!"

He put on a winning smile and held out his hand. Herk eyed it and decided not to touch it. The man dropped it.

"Simon Plowright, colony surveyor. You must the Alien bounty hunter."

Herk chewed on a cigar.

"You called about a bug problem?" he asked.

"I sent the distress call," Paige cut in. "Colony leader Dr. Kelly Ann Paige. I...I can't believe somebody came to help us."

Herk spit on the ground.

"You know what you done to my ship is gonna cost you extra."

Paige tried to explain.

"This is an Agri-colony. We're farmers. We haven't any credits or...or-"

Herk cut her off.

"WHAT?" he shouted.

Paige backed up.

"We can offer you developed land in exchange for your services."

Herk pointed at finger at her chest.

"Let me get this straight, lady. First, you blast me outta the sky..."

"I didn't-"

Herk plowed on.

"Then you expect me to work for stock in the rice fields of this mudball..."

Herk turned and straightened his red cap.

"No wonder nobody else showed up."

Plowright jumped in excitedly.

"Sir, I will personally repair your spacecraft-"

"We need help. We don't where these things came from-" Paige said. Nate interrupted.

"I know where!"

Herk stood there, listening to their ranting.

"We lost contact with a security squad near there," Plowright said.

Nate pointed in the same direction.

"The one chased me came from outta that cave pit by old man Radomski's place."

Paige turned to two moisture farmers that had shown up.

"We have to do something!" she told them.

Herk still stood. He then turned and stomped over to his ship. The farmers were surprised.

"Wait! where is he going?"

"Is that THE Herk Mondo?"

"I guess he ain't gonna help us after all."

"I heard he broke out marine psych lock just so he could hunt Aliens."

Plowright got a freaked look on his face.

"Jeez. Maybe it's better he ain't helpin' us."

Paige looked after Herk.

"Maybe..."

Just then, Herk sauntered out of his ship, a very, very large bag slung over his back. The bag was filled to splilling with guns and such.

"Ain't goin' anywhere anyway...So I might as well do some damage." He held in his other hand a duffel bag with a skull on it. Plowright got a goofy look on.

"Dij y'all hear that? He's gonna help us!"

The farmers cheered. Herk grabbed Plowright.

"Yeah, but y'all better fix my ship!"

Plowright cowered.

"Yes, sir! I'll tow to the compound right away!"

Herk headed to the ATV.

...

Did y'all lahk that? Review!


	2. Chapter 2

SHOUT OUTS:

RUBYDRACOGIRL: Your wish you shall get. And thanks for your review! You rock!

AN: Aliens suck balls.

DISCLAIMER: I refuse to share if I owned the franchise. Well, maybe a little with Rub.

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PART DOS

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Paige drove the ATV across a road that was bordered by ten foot high pipes. A cloud of dust was kicked up behind them. Herk's massive sack of deadly weapons was seated behind the passenger seat. Herk held a massive gun that looked very similar to a bazooka.

"I've never seen anything like, Mondo," she said.

"Only one in existance. Spits shells simultaneously through both barrels," he said, patting it. "Goes through the ammo fast, but you'd hate to be on the business end, lady."

"I was talking about your tattoo. And you can call me Paige."

Herk had a heart tattoo with an arrow through it that said SALLY.

"Don't ask about the tattoo...Lady."

AT THE CAVE PIT

Herk, three farmers, and Paige stood at the wide entrance to the cave pit. Herk had his monster-sized gun over his shoulder. Paige carried a lantern. The farmers carried machineguns.

"Okay, volunteers, this isn't going to be fun. If you want to wait here, I'll understand," Herk said, chewing on his cigar.

"Hey, we've had weapons training," said the first farmer.

"Yeah! We can take it!"

Herk pointed at them.

"All right. You do what I say when I say! Now let's get 'em!"

The third farmer peered inside the pit when the others followed Herk. It was dark inside.

"Are they...The Aliens, I mean...As vicious as they say?" he whimpered.

"Like a two-headed dog on steroids. Now get your fat butt down here!" Herk called back up.

"Y-Yes, sir, Mr. Mondo!"

Back at the ATV, Nate lifted his head from under the blanket he had snuk in.

INSIDE THE HIVE

Herk's light lit the way through the dark cave. The walls were coated in slime. Suddenly, his light landed on an eight-legged creature with a tail. Paige gasped. A Facehugger. It was dead, and hung in the air by a mucus like substance.

"Lady, you got bugs alright," Mondo said, holding the dead parasite. He put the thing in his bag. Paige looked disgusted.

"What? It's a trophie."

"Ugh!" was her reply. Paige examined the walls.

"Better not use that flamethrowe, Mr. Mondo. I think this is magnesium."

"Nag, nag, nag!" was his reply. He spit on the ground.

"Magnesium?" asked one of the farmers.

"Yep. Once this stuff starts burning, there ain't no puttin' it out," said the second farmer.

"Be worth a fortune to a mineral corps, though," said Plowright, looking around in nervousness.

"Shh! This way!" said Herk.

Suddenly, a face appeared out of the gloom. A man was glued to the wall in the same sticky substance that the Facehugger had hung from.

"HANK!" screamed Paige.

"Shut up! Do you WANT them to hear us?" chasticed Herk.

Paige ran up to Nate's uncle. She ripped at the slimy cords.

"Hang on! We'll get you out!" she said.

"Uh-Uh...Don't bother. Just uh...Get it over with."

Click!

Paige turned and saw Herk holding a pistol, cocked and ready to fire. She stared in horror.

"No..."

Herk grimaced.

"He's dead already."

Hank agreed.

"He's right, Paige. K-K-Kill me..."

"NOOOOO!"

Nate was here. Immediately, a swarm of Xenomorphs attacked.

"It's about time!" said Herk cheerfully.

"BEHIND YOU!" screamed Paige.

A Xeno grabbed Nate. Herk promptly shot its hand off. A Xenomorph grabbed one of the farmers. He struggled to escape. It smashed its inner jaw through his head, ending his screams. Herk shot it with his machinegun.

"SUNUVABITCH!" he hollered.

Another Xeno grabbed Plowright and another farmer. It started gnawing on the farmer's arm, drooling like a starved dog. Herk ripped through it with a barrage of bullets.

"Weapons training my ass!" he said.

Another Xeno dropped down. It was the one who's arm he had shot off. He pulled the trigger.

000 bullets.

The Xeno grabbed his shoulders and pushed him to the wall.

"Oh! So you want some more, huh?" he said.

The Xenomorph tried to impale his head with its inner mouth, but Herk grabbed it. He spit in the Xeno's mouth. It promptly bit through it.

"AAAAAAAHHHH!" he screamed.

He blasted it multiple times. It tore his hand off.

"DAMMIT!" he screamed.

The Xeno ran off, Herk's hand still in its mouth. He ran after it, shooting.

"COME BACK HERE WITH MY HAND! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TO HELL!"

"HERK!" screamed Paige.

Herk bent over, wheezing in pain.

"G-won...Get outta here!"

Paige held Nate.

"GO! GO!" shouted Herk.

Paige picked up Nate and ran.

"Wait! Uncle Hank!" screamed Nate.

Herk turned to Hank.

"I...uh..."

Hank looked at him.

"Do it..."

Herk looked at him.

...

...

BLAM!

"NOOOOOOOO!" screamed Nate, tears streaming out of his eyes. Paige carried him far from the pit cave, screaming as Aliens poured out. Herk did not leave.

...

Gettin' intense! Review!


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